If you can say YES to the list above then I’m the coach for you. Please
read on…
So who wouldn’t say yes to this list? It’s true most of us would want these things,
so why aren’t more people thriving? Here are some of the reasons:
To create the life you truly desire, you
will have to make some difficult choices and trade-offs. The first tradeoff is time. It takes time to create a life that thrives…time
to do the work, to identify limited ways of thinking and being, to cultivate new ideas, perspectives and behaviors that serve
you and your relationships. This means you will have to shift other activities and change your priorities.
The
next compromise is comfort. By doing this work you are giving up some emotional comfort and risking new ways of thinking and
being. This work doesn’t come without some risk-taking, but neither does real growth or self-awareness. Most of us are
uncomfortable being confronted with how we are not living our values, the ways we are incongruent, or the consequences of
our actions, but this is part of being human and it’s the only way we learn to thrive.
It also takes a lot
of energy to cultivate sustained improvement over time. Often we have developed some behavioral habits that are not serving
us and we have to learn new habits, which requires us to be more awake and conscious than we are used to being.
Generally
the most difficult task in doing this work is improving our reaction to problems. For example, if you are sensitive to criticism,
it will take effort to become less sensitive instead of hoping other people in the world will be less critical. Now it will
be lovely if other people in the world become less critical, but your sensitivity is not their problem. It’s your problem.
You still need to learn to be less sensitive to criticism whether or not other people in your life choose to be less critical.
In any given situation the only part we get to change is our own behavior.
In other words, trying to get someone else to change is an exercise in futility that will only serve to wear us out.
In all these areas, there is often a conflict between short-term gratification and the long-term goal of
creating a joyful, thriving life.
All that being said, the pay-offs for doing this work are HUGE. It’s the
difference between growing old with grace and wisdom or fear and bitterness, between feeling satisfied and complete or filled
with regret and loss.
Doing this work does not mean that you won't have
painful moments, disappointments or challenges like everyone else, but it does help you laugh more, sleep better, love deeply,
suffer less, live bigger, inspire others and basically put more good out in the world.
